~~~ (Da-movie) ~~~ “DOPOPE” ~~~ (Da-movie) ~~~

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FOR THE HARDCORE POLITICAL STUFF FOLLOW THE LINK.

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https://spacelizardlaw.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/huge-world-conspiracy-by-zionist-jews-bah-humbug/

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What‘s underneath is merely a bit of humour.

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Possible comedic film named ‘Dopope‘ in one word as the little kids might say-it.

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Main character

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Script outline for a movie hopefully featuring Jim Carrey as a reformed yet still reprobate half Jewish comedian who spends his spare time away from his highly successful comedy circuit touring third world countries & having sex with every woman he can when he’s not visiting orphanages. After coming to grips with his own inner demons from a very abusive childhood, he genuinely cares for any disadvantaged kids he finds & donates all of his spare money to the various charities that look after kids at risk.

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The kids call Jim, who’s film name is “Eddie Swineberg” by the nickname of Dopope because he always acts like Da-Pappa to all of them. In the movie as ‘Eddie Swineberg’ the comedian he’s the illegitimate son of a post WW2 high ranking ‘SS’ Nazi General & a successful high class Jewish prostitute who gave up the game in her late 40’s after unexpectedly becoming pregnant with Eddie during a visit to a female Swiss gynaecologist while acting as the octogenarian ‘SS’ General‘s full time consort .

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Political Background.

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Set in a turbulent imaginary period around 2025 during a time in which the European states are drifting in & out of the union & coming to grips with everyone agreeing on one thing & one thing only, IE; They all disagree about almost everything.

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Their current real world pope is a (Secretly) slightly debauched & very lecherous 72 y\o party-animal named “Pope Gregorio” who has a penchant for $1500.00 a bottle port wine spiced with myrrh & what his secretary Petroday denies is Viagra, as he seeks stimulation by listening to vids of his own sermons.

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Jim Carrey as ‘Eddie Swineberg’ also stars as that same suitably aged pope who, without Jim the reformed recalcitrant half Jewish comedian ever truly noticing, is the spitting image of the young comedian when he was still a young priest Jim’s age.

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As well, it features Jack Nicholson as a Jesuit priest cum hard core hit-man for the mysterious black pope + semi retired actor Clint Eastwood effecting an Italian version of a Pommy queer, as the dour slightly gay & mildly effeminate Vatican ice man chief of protocol secretary known as Cardinal Petroday.

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The movie opens with Jack Nicholson staring coldly straight into the camera (In one of those looks he‘s bound to give some lousy pushy loud mouthed tourist from Florida who asks him for an autograph while he‘s having an intimate dinner with his wife & a few good friends) with the camera aimed above chest level, as he gives a quiet yet strangely chilling monologue in Italian, without his lips moving, as in he‘s merely thinking.

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(Remember, in the movie, he really is god’s hit-man)

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The monologue is translated on screen into English.

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Again, Jack Nicholson, starring as the infamous highly Machiavellian Jesuit hit-man known as Father “Umberto Regio Procurssio Patrapeni“, says in a voiceover in Italian without his own lips moving, with words appearing in English onscreen, something like…

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“A little under 2000 sad violent intriguing & very conspiratorial years ago, a tough trouble making Jew was born in Israel in the town of Bethlehem, born of a possible virgin. He was educated in his early years in Egypt among the few remaining Maccabee Jew exiles still living there as Jews after all those centuries. He came back to Israel just before his coming of age, full of hope & faith, as well as questions over why nothing in life was ever anything like it was ever supposed to be.

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“He was a gifted orator, a brilliant man with an excellent lateral mind & a good understanding of the true subtleties within Hebrew scriptures which often only the Jews who step away from the pressures of the Jewish love of conformity can ever truly grasp. After the patriot movement known as the Zealots started a minor insurrection using some of Christ’s early idealistic sayings to kick it off, instigated by the chief priests looking to make trouble so they could use their Roman connections to crush all future dissent before it formed later into something more politically viable, some 3000 poor Jewish little people were crucified in a single week by the Roman soldiers under the command of some Romans secretly descended from Jews” ~

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“Many of those who died were known to the Christ & some of them were dear friends. Not being the sort of man to leave these things forgotten in fear, he took 7 years off & quietly worked at his carpentry until, led by his inner spirit, he went out into the desert & fasted for 40 days to give his mind a chance to see all things clearly again. When he came back to society 40 days later, he already knew he was a walking talking dead man because of what he intended to say to the people in remembrance of the friends he’d lost, while honouring the faith trust & love they‘d held in him” ~

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“Even after all this time, with all of the many ways what I’ve belonged to since childhood has despitefully used him, if he’s anywhere within a 1000 light years of here in that far away country he mentioned, on the day when elements melt with fervent heat & planets disappear like the first pontiff said would happen in the 3rd chapter of his 2nd book, I’m hoping he’ll rescue the soul of a sinner-man like me if he wants to. More than once over the last seven decades I‘ve hoped he would” ~

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“Tho in all truth, I’ve never once presumed it enough to have the faith” ~

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The camera then pans out to see Jack from around head height to knee level wearing the typical Jesuit frock, holding a very large & dangerous looking revolver pointed straight ahead as the look on his face grows deadly dangerous, the camera angle changing for a split second to show a very expensive gold ring with a compass & square surrounded with a black death’s head skull.

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As the angle flicks back to a front on view he fires the revolver & the bullet comes out of the barrel in slow motion for about four or five seconds, with the sound also slowing & echoing slightly, the camera then quickly panning around to see another Jewish looking man with those neat Jewish Peyos curls on his temples, dressed in a very fancy suit & holding a gun, yet this one an automatic. His name is “Don Giovanni Prepostero Snr” & he is one very bad dude like his dad was, who was old school mafia back in Meyer Lansky‘s day, tho he’s not quite the stone cold contract killer his Alaskan Indian Jewish mother was.

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A quick flash to his hand also sees a big gold ring with a compass & a square, surrounded by the Great Seal of the American dollar bill. He also fires, with the bullet & sound doing slo-mo, then grimaces as he gets hit immediately after by the bullet Jack fired. The camera pans back to Jack who grimaces as the bullet from “Don Giovanni” hits him.

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The camera pans back to “The Don” who drops to his knees with a deep sigh, then back to Jack who also slowly drops to one knee & immediately falls over backwards with a kind of sad yet almost pleased whimper. The Jewish looking man falls face first with an angry shocked impatient indignant expression of rage or extreme disgust & just lays there blinking his eyes with his head to one side, while Jack the Jesuit “Umberto” stares up at the ceiling with the voiceover in Italian intoning clearly & quietly without Jack’s lips moving, speaking as from within his mind “Never argue with a ‘Jew-in-a-suit’ if he’s got a big fcuking gun, you god-damned brainless dork” (Jesuit joke) with his words on screen in English.

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Meanwhile, “Don Giovanni” does a voiceover for himself too, in Hebrew or Yiddish without HIS lips moving, saying something similar to what Jack said like “Never argue with a Jew wearing a dress if he‘s holding a gun, you shmuck” with the translation again on screen. Then they both softly groan, do the death rattles, & die.

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Supporting Characters

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The two identical-twin (Cloned) choirboys.

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The two choirboy twins in their opening scene sees both of them framed in muted light on their faces only from the screen of a television, while both are watching a video of one of the pope’s speeches as one of them slowly, almost imperceptibly, rocks back & forth with a very dark background behind them, all without anyone able to see anyone behind either of them.

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A voice does a prolonged ”Ah-ah Ah-Aaaah” of the sexual release moment & the boy stops rocking back & forth. A few minutes later after they chatter inanities, the second boy then gets a mild look of very feigned bored shock, then he too starts to rock back & forth in a subtle way, with the tempo slowly increasing until, almost like before yet in a far more plaintive & almost painful way, what appeared to be the “Ah-ah-ah” of a sexual release becomes the ’Ahhh, Ahhh, Ahhhhh‘ of what could have been the crescendo of the heights of a much larger sexual release change dramatically & move into what one could only expect to be the sound of a very prolonged & very serious painful & ultimately very fatal heart attack, again without being able to see anything except the two boys faces at the time, after which you hear the sound of someone dropping to the floor.

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The boy who’d been rocking back & forward first turns the light on as the other boy pulls his pants up. Behind them is the old pope obviously dead, pale to the point of an overly exaggerated greasepaint white dead pallor as the boys almost entirely ignore him & begin to discuss if they should tell anyone about it.

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The more assertive of the twins decides they should just leave thru the secret exit & tell no one, otherwise “They’ll only make us do some serious penance for the sin of sexual indiscretions & it’ll be a biggie if it kills a pope” so they quietly sneak out thru the exit & pretend they neither saw nor knew anything.

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(These two pop up later in a scene featuring three nuns & the protocol secretary Petroday as the fake-pope Jim seeks some sexual solace to no avail. He’s offered a spot with the twin choirboys yet even tho Jim has no sexual morals at all, he’s 100% heterosexual & rabidly anti-paedophile too)

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Immediately after the pope’s death, as in within the hour, a desperate strategy meeting is in progress featuring, among others, the black pope himself, as well as none other than Jesuit Father & hit-man “Umberto Regio Procurssio Patrapeni“ who proffers the startling news that the pope‘s previously denied fifth cousin, the aforementioned WW2 ‘SS‘ Nazi General, has an illegitimate son who is the spitting image of the pope when the pope was the young man‘s age.

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On the spot the black pope decides to act unilaterally without consulting the cardinals, knowing the role was for the pope to help hold Europe together & thus keep WW3 at bay was critical, so he instructs Jack (Jesuit Priest Father Umberto) to kidnap the American man known as “Eddie Swineberg“ & safely deliver him to the Vatican within 24 hours.

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Ten minutes later, after hacking the ‘NSA’ computers thru the English ’GCHQ’ by calling in a favour from a French Catholic Mason working for the German Intelligence Service, they find Eddie in Brazil visiting an orphanage there. Father Umberto is in the air within half an hour & lands in the city of Sao Paolo five hours later to oversee the safe abduction of ‘Eddie Swineberg‘ & deliver him unharmed & sound asleep to the black pope.

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Once there, anxious to cover the situation, the black pope gives him an offer he can’t refuse on top of an offer he was unlikely to refuse anyway. As for the offer he was unlikely to refuse, he was asked for the sake of the safety & security of the entire world to help them temporarily cover up the death of the pope by playing the role as him himself, saying & doing whatever was asked of him to keep the delicate balance of power in the European Union & thus in the world, up until a new balance could be forged by those who‘s job it was to see to such things.

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In return the Vatican itself would fully fund a line of credit to the tune of up to $100 million dollars, for any children’s charity or set of children’s charities he should choose to support.

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Just in case he refused, he was to be given an offer he can’t refuse too, one which consisted of being handcuffed to a pole outside a busy Thai police station late at night next to a bag containing the decapitated & surgically mutilated pieces of the body of a young Thai transsexual accident victim they’d stolen from a morgue & then surgically mutilated. She-he was a good looking boy-girl bearing a striking resemblance to a novice nun called Josie who had recently joined the Jesuit hit squad.

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Like the professionals they were, they‘d pulled all of this off after learning of her existence within the same 24 hour period during which he’d been abducted from Sao Paolo Brazil.

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Next to him & the bag of body pieces would be another bag containing a DVD of him having sex with Josie while he was under the same drugs agencies like CIA regularly used, with the promise the local police captain who’d had a dead transsexual prostitute child who’d been murdered & whom he still mourned, would be told Josie ran off from the convent with Eddie & the body would be identified by the mother superior as Josie.

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Furthermore, Eddie was informed the chief magistrate & the local gaol governor were both faithful obedient Catholics who would obey whatever their local priest told them was needed to make sure Josie‘s real killer (sic) was righteously punished.

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He got the hint & considered both offers.

(He realised these men were very serious)

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Eddie tried hard to think of something funny to distract himself from the tightening in his chest & the looseness & sickness in his gut & pissed himself laughing at how ridiculous it all was & at the way they all sounded. Then his inner voice talks without his lips moving, telling him these strange men were meaner than a mafia capo with heartburn & haemorrhoids & that he didn’t piss himself through laughing, he’d pissed himself cause he was scared shitless. Eddie then decides to accept the better offer.

(Then he laughed again at pissing himself)

(This time he’d laughed cause it was funny)

(His sense of humour nearly gets him dead)

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Poff the Magic Dragon & his sidekick Piff the Newt

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(AKA Binky & Bonky who both live under the Vatican)

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‘Voiceovers by Sean Connery & Wolverine’s Hugh Jackman

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Eddie gets a tour of the Vatican & the first thing he’s shown is an underground grotto situated underneath the Vatican Library which literally has an old wise-cracking dragon with a rainbow coloured breast chained up next to the entrance, with Connery doing all of the old dirty dragon jokes he thought about in his previous roles yet could never say on film, along a smaller grey slightly evil Satanic looking & very depressed young dragon chained next to him, who speaks in a kind of husky intimate ‘Harry Reid’ style, also cracking whatever dark jokes came to him in previous roles without the opportunity to say them.

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The extremely old rainbow coloured dragon ‘Poff’ & his much younger consort ’Piff’ or rather ’Binky & Bonky’ as they call each other in private, are both very mystical & magical dragons along the lines of the “Big trouble in little China” movie, who help the pope of the day do miracles & who mercilessly tease each other when alone. Both get a kick out of making statues cry & bleed real blood, while causing all sorts of mischief with stigmata whenever the bleeding icon joke gets old, as well as young ‘Bonky’ giving the odd nun an unintentional immaculate orgasm while servicing the older dragon.

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In the small-chat Eddie makes with the two dragons while trying to lighten his mood, he mentions how incredibly frustrated he is at not having had a root since he was kidnapped, so ‘Bonky’ says something like “I-can help you there” & in a flash of blinding light turns into the most gorgeous butt (sic) naked woman he‘s ever seen. Yet ’Bonky’ is still chained by the neck to ’Binky’ who has an extremely disgusted & totally bored look on his face. The mood escapes Eddie completely & he‘s left with more than a few vaguely theological questions which he soon turns into jokes to tell his protocol secretary Petroday.

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Jim’s scene with the three ex hard-girl nuns.

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Jim is told by Cardinal Petroday that, as ipso-facto pope, 3 nuns are there 24\7 both for his protection & see to all of his needs, indeed to do whatever he asks of them to do for him. Getting the wrong idea & not knowing the nun known as Josie was an ex Muay Thai champion while still male & was now a full post op transsexual, he sleazes up behind her & gives her a subtle pinch on the bottom in a friendly matter. Almost without turning, her left foot arcs up at blinding speed & slaps him on the side of the face with a crack sounding like a small calibre pistol shot.

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Jim takes the blow well & simply staggers back laughing into the arms of his protocol secretary Petroday, who then tells him plainly what Josie once was & what she now is, IE; The bride of Christ & totally devoted to him & to him alone.

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His face still stinging from this kick by a nun who looks 100% feminine & is simply so freaking gorgeous as in beautiful & so pretty she looks angelic sublime & divinely feminine, he scratches his head, then his balls, then looks off towards another nun with the look of a supermodel who’s just standing there.

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Petroday informs him this is Maria. As he can plainly see, she‘s a stunningly beautiful Brazilian around the 6 ft mark with a very athletic build. Slightly smiling now despite his dour nature, Petroday informs him she was also one of his bodyguards & is a world class black belt Brazilian Ju-Jitsu expert. Noticing Eddie can’t help focussing on her voluptuous curves within a habit that completely fails to hide them, he informs Eddie that she used to kill people for the Columbian drug lords by seducing them in a honey trap & breaking their necks or choking them to death once alone. Like Josie, she devotes her life to Christ now. This causes Eddie’s interest to wilt faster than a bath of ice water.

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(He adds she’s hardcore-lesbo & Amazon, yet celibate)

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After Eddie then tells him straight up he’s frustrated & needs to get his ball bag empty, Petroday, feeling a tad spiteful in a soft kind of brotherly fatherly priestly way (sic) presents the twin choirboys to the new pseudo-pope. Standing there with a look of apparent affection toward Cardinal Petroday, these two boys are presented as the short term answer to his normal adult male sexual needs if he‘s that wound up. Eddie gives him a look that makes Petroday glad the three bodyguard sisters are in the room.

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Petroday then points out Sister Bonita to him, who is a 300 lb ex prostitute & once part time wrestler on the Mexican circuit who left professional wrestling to join the convent after accidentally killing a second opponent in the ring during her second match, with her first match also having been a fatal outcome.

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After she winks at him in what he’s sure was a guarded yet cheeky come on, Eddie grimaces as he sees she has a bum the size of an axe handle across & tits to make a Friesian cow go green with envy. Petroday, still smiling a mildly wicked tho not overly cruel smile, points out she often falls foul to the sins of the flesh, yet never gives up on the true Catholic faith.

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Seeing her looks alone have had the required effect, he adds she is an excellent cook & ridiculously skilled at knife throwing & fighting, which she later proves when she foils two attempts on Eddie’s life later in the movie by nailing the potential killers with trick throws to their throats with whatever was handy.

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Later that same night Eddie awakens to soft voices & bumps in the hallway to see Father “Umberto” & two other Jesuit priests, with Petroday standing there watching & looking almost evil, dragging a big black coffin into the room. Immediately scared & thinking of wetting himself straight up rather than bothering to laugh at anything first, Eddie waits for the bad news.

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Without judgement, one of the other Jesuits starts off in a kind of monotonous tone about “The sins of the flesh” yet adds that, as he wasn’t a Catholic anyway & was doing the church a big favour, he would be granted the special indulgences needed to do whatever he wished with what was inside the coffin. Eddie heard them lock the door as they left & he sat there for a good half an hour listening & trying to work out what to do now.

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Finally his sense of humour & his childlike curiosity got the better of him so he walks over to the coffin & slowly opens the lid which quietly swings open on smooth well oiled hinges to reveal what appears to be ~ An almost nude life size rubber dummy with a set of tits even better than the Brazilian nun.

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Angry for a moment, he reached out to throw the dummy to the floor, then noticed the touch of it was unusual. It wasn’t a blow up love doll as such, yet it wasn’t a solid latex rubber doll that was hard to the touch either. The quality of the workmanship seemed unusually high. Just near the door he also noticed what appeared to be a book of instructions & a control unit not too dissimilar from an ‘iPad Wii’ wrist device. (Snicker)

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Not knowing if they were messing with his head, he sat down to read the instructions & despite his better senses, started to get very aroused by the high quality glossy pictures inside of this instruction manual for a very high quality officially sanctioned big boy’s only quasi Catholic fcuk-you doll.

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Eventually Eddie’s lonely night passed with a reckless passionate abandon, tho he would have been very unlikely to have enjoyed his night quite as much if he had known at least 20 Jesuits & the entire college of cardinals were watching him on closed circuit television, while Petroday was already in the process of security encoding the film of their fake pope Eddie’s night time exploits of human passion with a big sexy lifelike rubber doll to his old seminary buddies over in England.

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Were they all wicked, or just plain bored?

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Why they helping him or merely mocking?

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(Only the Lord himself could truly judge)

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The sarcastic rant that Father “Umberto” gives to Eddie when they drunk a full bottle of whiskey between them & Eddie asks him about the Catholic church’s structural hierarchy. ~~~ (I’ll make it funny later, this is just a very loose overview)

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”After the Christ gave the keys to the government of god to St Peter before he died, Peter took them with him to heaven when he also died, mostly cause Saul of Tarsus was a lying thieving murdering dipshit & there was nobody around whom he could trust with them. Ever since then, every time an old pope died & a new pope took his place, they get a skilled kabala practitioner & psychic Masonic occultist locksmith to help the new pope break into heaven again for to start them all over again” ~

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“Once they successfully break in, they get the old pope’s private papers & any other incriminating evidence he had over anyone else & they burn them all in the fireplace of the official college of the old cardinals, which is where the white smoke comes from whenever they’re announcing a new pope has been chosen” ~

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It was fortuitous Eddie was a Mason & had learnt both French & German in his high school days when he was also quite the root rat among the ladies. His German speaking would especially come in handy because the pope he has to cover for (Replace) was a German speaking French Mason & a man of the world before he became a man of the cloth, tho the old pope was, admittedly, a heavy hitter who batted for the other team.

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He only become a priest to help his boring homosexual sex life & only then become pope in a private late night high stakes poker game at his local lodge between himself, GHW Bush, Don Rumsfeld\Rockefeller, Dick Cheney Henry Kissinger, Zbignew Brezinski, John D Rockefeller + some weird mysterious fascist dude most people called the Rabbi & others called Eichie & his friends called “Hey! Dollface!”

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Eddie had never learnt to not to look at things without humour & had never learnt to not then express said humour at the worst possible time normal people thought was possible. It was exactly what made him a successful comedian that ruined his chances of ever pulling off the deception, tho his humour did eventually bring the world back from the brink of nuclear war anyway.

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Some people will never see the funny side of things.

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Robby Daniel © ® 22/3/14

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PS: It’s just a rough outline.

I’ll finish it if someone pays.

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About spacelizardlaw

Hmmm... Christ implied prophetical people like me get monuments built for them once they're dead so Ye-Hah & Whoopee & don't spare the embalming cream...
This entry was posted in Mockery and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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